Losing to Gain

Some of the hardest parts of following Jesus begin with letting go. To gain, you must first lose. To move forward, you must first let go. To grow, you must first grieve. It sounds backwards. It feels backwards. But it is one of the most consistent and honest truths woven through the pages of Scripture, and it is one that every serious follower of Jesus will eventually have to reckon with.

The Christian life is not simply a moment of decision. Crossing the line of faith, naming Jesus as Savior and Lord, is the beginning of something, not the completion of it. What follows is a lifelong journey of becoming, of being shaped and reshaped into the image of Christ. And that shaping process always involves two movements happening at the same time: taking off and putting on.

God is more concerned about the growth of your character than your comfort in the moment. That does not mean God is indifferent to your pain or your struggle. Quite the opposite. The comfort God offers is real and profound. But it is not the microwave kind. It is the slow-cooker kind, the kind that develops over time, that fills the whole house with something rich and deep and worth waiting for.

Romans 8:12-13 speaks plainly about this. Believers are called to put to death the misdeeds of the body by the power of the Spirit. Romans 12:1-2 follows with an invitation to offer our entire selves to God as living sacrifices, and to resist the pressure of conforming to the world by allowing our minds to be genuinely transformed. These are not passive experiences. They are active, ongoing, sometimes uncomfortable acts of surrender.

Surrender shows up in the choices we make each day. Ask yourself regularly: am I yielding my will, or am I wielding my will? Yielding means opening your hands and releasing control to God. Wielding means gripping tighter, insisting on self-determination, and telling God you will get around to the hard work eventually. The Christian life calls us toward the former, again and again.

The Apostle Paul uses the vivid image of clothing in Colossians 3:5-10 to describe the work of spiritual formation. He lists the old garments that need to come off: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and dishonesty. It is a striking and uncomfortable list, not because it is surprising, but because most of us will recognize something on it that hits close to home.

The reason we hold on to these things is not because we hate them. If we hated them, letting go would be easy. We hold on because, in some way, they serve us. They numb us. They give us a sense of control or escape or relief. They have become familiar, even comfortable. Letting go of something that has functioned as a coping mechanism, a default response, or a deeply ingrained habit requires more than willpower. It requires grief.

This is an honest and often overlooked part of spiritual growth. There is a real grief involved in releasing something you have depended on, even when you know it is harmful. Acknowledging that grief does not mean weakness. It means you are taking the process seriously. And it is in that honest, humble place of grief that real transformation tends to begin.

Philippians 3:7-9 captures this movement beautifully. Paul describes counting everything he once considered gain as loss for the sake of knowing Christ. His credentials, his status, his self-sufficiency, all of it he considered garbage compared to the surpassing worth of being found in Christ. The loss was real. But what he gained in exchange was immeasurably greater.

Here is where the image becomes genuinely hopeful. Taking something off always creates space to put something better on. Colossians 3:12-14 does not leave us with an empty closet. It offers a new wardrobe entirely.

But before listing the new garments, Paul does something important. He reminds his readers of who they are: God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved. This is not a throwaway line. It is the foundation on which everything else rests. After a list of sins and failures and old habits, the temptation is to feel crushed by shame. Paul interrupts that spiral with identity. You are chosen. You are holy. You are dearly loved.

From that foundation, the new clothing makes sense. Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. Forgiveness. And over all of it, love, which Paul calls the bond that holds everything else together in perfect unity. These are not abstract virtues. They are specific, daily, practical choices. They are what it looks like to treat the person in front of you the way God has treated you.

Forgiveness, in particular, deserves its own moment of attention. Bear with one another and forgive one another, the text says, just as the Lord forgave you. This is not a small ask. For many people, forgiveness is the single hardest piece of clothing to put on. But it is also the one that, when worn consistently, changes everything about how we move through the world.

None of this is meant to be done alone or by sheer effort. 2 Peter 1:3 offers a remarkable promise: God's divine power has already given us everything we need for a godly life. The resources are not lacking. The Spirit is present and active, invested in your growth and your forward movement.

You can begin with one small step, trusting that the Spirit will meet you there.

What is one piece of clothing in the wardrobe of your heart that needs to go? And what is one new garment you are willing to put on, starting now, with the help of the Spirit Who will give you everything you need to wear it well?

Progress in the Christian life is real. It is possible. And it is worth every difficult, grief-touched, Spirit-empowered step it takes to get there.

Watch Pastor Fred’s full message, “Character: Losing and Gaining,” and reflect on what you may need to set aside and what you can begin practicing with the Spirit’s help.